Tomorrow is Mother’s Day, my daughter has asked me several times what I would like for Mother’s day. I said the same thing I say every year, I just want a relaxing day.
I don’t need presents, flowers or a beautiful dinner [although they are nice] to have my family show me that they appreciate me. I just need them to give me some me time. Some time where I can go off and enjoy a book and know I will not be interrupted, a time where I can take a nap if I want, or just time to curl up and watch a movie.
The other thing I really want is to visit my mom, and have her know that I am visiting and she is talking to me, and not to one of her sisters. You see, my mom has Alzheimer’s and it is getting progressively worse. It steals her memories and confuses her. She doesn’t always seem to know with whom she is speaking. It is hard for me to see her this way. I am her daughter, but she does not always know that. She has forgotten my daughter at times too; that makes me very sad and afraid. Afraid of how it will make my daughter feel to be unrecognized by her grandmother. Luckily, Alex has not been there to see the confused look on my mother’s face when I bring up her, or when my mom asks who Alex is. That time will come. I have tried to prepare Alex for it, and it is probably not as difficult as I think it is but it will happen.
I am losing her; I try to remember her as she used to be – her smiling eyes so full of life , it is hard but I try. So this Mother’s day I will visit my mom, focus on our bond and hope that she will stay in the moment and remember me so I can see her smiling eyes.
Hope your Mother’s Day is all you want it to be!